Who is Jack Shitt

Found this on the facebook wall of an acquaintance. I’m still laughing and hope it will make someone else laugh as much as me


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Shitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Shitt!’Well,thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.Jack Shitt is the only son of Awe Shitt. Awe Shitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Shitt, the owner of Needeep N. Shitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.In turn, Jack Shitt married Noe Shitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Shitt, Giva Shitt, Fulla Shitt, Bull Shitt, and the twins Deep Shitt and Dip Shitt. Against her parents’objections, Deep Shitt married Dumb Shitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Shitt divorced. Noe Shitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Shitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shitt married Loda Shitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Shitt and Giva Shitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Shitt-Happens nuptials. The Shitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,and Horse. Bull Shitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Shitt.Now when someone says,’You don’t know Jack Shitt,’ you can correct them.

Sincerely,Crock O. Shitt


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