Disclaimer: I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. There is absolutely no satire here.
It all started when our bands first started being read in church. An acquaintance told me, after the obligatory you sure you ready and good luck, “you know you have to behave yourself now and make sure you take care of your man.” -_-
I shrugged the barrage of similar comments off.
Until quite recently, when I was informed what a grown man is. And he said.
“A grown man don’t take no shit from no woman. Chicks need to understand that they are interchangeable somebody else always there waiting to take her place.”
“Even if she’s your main chick or your wife, she needs to know she’s not in control of anything that’s a man’s job.”
Now suffice it to say I was both horrifically amused and blue with something akin to anger fueled by principle. It could have been because the main chick in question was the bread winner in the home, and was a good mommy to her 2 kids, where as Mr. Man over here was never home, always on the block with the boys. I really need to rethink my choices in friends.
This man had left every major decision in the home up to this woman, she taking on the brunt of the bills etc, but she was also the main care provider for the little ones. She had been there though his jobless times, his sick times, his lowest and his best times.
I went and complained to another man, a picture of brotherly comfort in times of utter dumbassness. You know what he had to say? He agreed and even added the method of keeping this woman under control.
Again GASP. Needless to say I was appalled but it was like a car crash, I just couldn’t look away, and kept digging the rabbit hole deeper. I found out that side chicks, at least in the eyes of these dudes were not for comfort or any of the conventional reasons I’ve ever heard of, but a means of keeping a woman “in her place”, that being a constant state of insecurity. :O
“And of course if another woman offers you wife, you must take it, after you anna no punk.” WTH? Punk? had I been transported back to the 80’s?
“What if she finds another man?” I asked incredulously. He scoffed at me.
“She can do what or who she want, as long as when I come home the house is clean and my food ready.” I think I swooned. The Goddess in my mind Snared, “but last time one ah dem leff you, you beg like she min ah tek you jewels with she?” But she said it only in my head as I headed home. Again really need to rethink my choice in friends.
Clearly these proud graduates of the Kartel school of charm, could not be serious. But here I stood in bemusement with a dude in a rickety boat of a relationship and another who had successful sent any woman who tried to be serious with him screaming for the hills, telling me what GROWN men thought of relationships.
It took awhile to digest this. Indeed it took a glass of wine and a few mangos.
Is that what a grown man is, someone who commands the respect of the block, by oppressing some poor ride or die chick? As a grown up is our “image” so important? Sigh. Again I might have just had that whole grown man thing sooo wrong. What do you think?