Now I am by no means a fashionista. Trends in fashion tend to come and go, passing me by in my style bubble. Looking up occasionally for something functional or comfy, or something that will va va va vroom on my ample assets.
But in the last few years the world of pop fashion has made me sit up and take notice. At first I noticed my peers sporting, skin fit technicolor leggings. Now these things were spectacular. These kaleidoscopic things that show every bump and divit, every jiggle and sway. Even to the point where you began to wonder at the physics that governed the movement of these women relative to gravity.
I wrote it off, as a sign of the economic times. That we just couldn’t manage to buy Jeans anymore, or even jeggings. Someone in conversation, even pointed out to me that maybe it was because the young men had bought them all, given the penchant of our young men in the Caribbean pop culture, of wearing skin tight too small pants. They weren’t see through, but they were close.
Then a few months later the legging got thinner, almost as if the material manufacturer was watering down the batches with nylon stalkings, and the technicolor jumped from the leggings to the panties beneath them. Again I took notice this time with a fair amount of dismay and a gentle sprinkle of disgust.
“Do these folks own mirrors? Do men find that attractive?” I asked a male friend or two. The reply was a look of sadness, while glancing at the flesh parade. One even responded. “They want to be seen, so I’ll look. But that’s about it.”
Then a few days ago walking up market street, trying to avoid these legging clad walking faux pas. A pair of women caught my reluctant eyes. One was older, the other younger probably in her teens. Both typically unremarkable in the way of pedestrian traffic. Except for one thing, they both had on leggings, the see through kind, and no undies!!!!! Well groomed as they were, they were all out for the public to see, walking proudly down the main streets of the city. I know our society has embraced the risque with a vengeance but really?
My brain being mine, went immediately to “Well that’s on way to solve the undie problem.” I guess the shock gave me a few moments to prepare, because I, a few seconds after, got a mother of a headache, I’m pretty sure I got from mourning the moral of my self devalued sisters.
So here I proclaim. Fix it Joan Rivers. Maybe what we need is our own version of the fashion police to aid in the reeducation of a population, nay a generation, about why no one wants to see what should be well washed and powered under your clothes.