Of spinsters and Old Maids

jealous-ex

Now every woman in the history of keeping men, has had to deal with in some way, shape or form,with “The Competition”. It’s a regular thing and part of the relationship landscape that we all come accustomed to. We don’t like it, but it’s there and it’s going nowhere. Kind of like that ant’s nest in your yard that you just can’t exterminate, because everytime you think you’ve got it, it migrates somewhere else.

Now I for one have passed it off as  just the nature of woman kind, even rationalizing the phenomenon as women, like all other animals, looking for the optimum mate. After all that’s how it works in nature, so maybe we as a species were just more bestial that we gave ourselves credit for. I would even joke with my friends, when presented of the more extreme cases of Penis poaching.

“Man scarce?” I would ask in jest.

But today I was informed, by a male colleague that the male birthrate had fallen in the past few decades? :O Oh my! Indeed that wasn’t all, with the rise in alternative sexual lifestyles, pop culture gang idiocy, weed and all around stupid dear-devil-ery, the healthy attractive male specimen was a rarity.

“Hide your husbands” he warned  while twiddling his own wedding ring. “Them single sista’s on the prowl”. Indeed to make the matter worse, One cannot even recommend cougar-dom as a possible solution. What with this new generation of cross dressing, skin toners.

Sigh…why did he have to come along and say a thing like that? Now I’m forced to look at the problem of the missing men, with a little more sympathy for the single sisters, who seem to be desperately indiscriminate when they go out hunting for the comfort of the phallus.

Alas my sisters I understand your struggle. I am empathetic to your plight. Perhaps it’s time we look at importation as a solution to this issue, as those of us pumping out sons can only do so at a limited rate. Let’s put a call out the Mr. Perry while we are at it. So that he can speed up production at the farm where he grows those awesome specimens of masculinity.

In the mean time sisters stay safe on Pecker patrol.

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