Just when I thought I had nothing to write about.


A friend tagged me in this article, I choose to believe as a joke. I really wasn’t going to read it. But maybe out of curiosity or boredom I did. And I must say, it gave me a chuckle and a half, which is great considering the funk I have fallen into the last few days.

The article is all about this untamable, free spirited woman who takes life by the nuts. Which is really cool. I mean which woman do I know at the moment who isn’t independent and out going? But then the article consumes itself in a flurry of marriage bashing.

With statements such as:

  • Marriage is about oaths, questions, engagement, stability, the death of adventure.
  • Marriage is about babies, routines, ups and downs, maturity, servitude forever.

I’m not even going to go to the mat to defend marriage, if it’s not for you then hey more power to you. Anyone who has read this blog consistently for the year has heard about my unending struggle to come to terms with the M word. Simply because so many of these things just aren’t. maturity? Routine? Servitude? lol where do I begin?

Yes we took an oath, yes we have babies, not that any of them are a result of marriage, it’s the 21st century be real. Engagement? Nope we do it all on the fly, so that kicks routines all out the window. No routine and this economy definitely equals no stability.Can you spell adventure, never knowing what the next month will have in store? What argument and subsequent make up session lurks around the next corner?  Servitude? HA, just ask me for a sandwich after I get in from work I dare you. Where do they come up with this stuff? When’s the last time you asked your significant other to do something and it was done promptly and without something going wrong because is testosterone? What’s left?

  1. Questions, yes….how the hell did I get myself into this?
  2. Forever. We all hope so…but life has a way of getting in the way.
  3. Ups and Downs. What doesn’t have those? What are ups without the downs for that matter? Aren’t the downs what make the ups all the more precious?

They made it sound like married people walk around hand cuffed to each other, breeding like rabbits. I’ll be frank and say the institution is only as perfect as the flaws of the people who get into it, but it can’t be the dire affair this author suggests. I laughed my way through. But you know what got me? What really got me? The untamable woman was a selfish organism, who chooses not to put anyone or anything before herself and is incapable of seeing the merit of sharing the adventure with someone.  Humans are social creatures aren’t we? Are we not hard wired to want to reproduce, to further our species, to want company?

Indeed I’m not alone, as another girlfriend laughs along with me, and so much of the commentary suggests. What do you think? Are those of us saddled with that “old ball and chain”, any less for “being shackled”?  Are we tame? Have we given up on adventure? Are we the boring norm instead of the unique and beautiful? Are responsibility and maturity really the worst things women can have? Is alone the only way to be free?

I’d really like to hear what other people think.

2 thoughts on “Just when I thought I had nothing to write about.

  1. There are three things in this world that are NOT for sissies. Marriage is the first one. With all the propaganda out there about how marriage is extinct in today’s societies, it takes two pretty d*mn brave (thinking serious-minded here) people to set off on that adventure together. I hate statistics anyway. They talk about the divorces and marriages in one year without taking into consideration that SOME of those marriages have lasted decades, so their stupid numbers are screwed. They NEED to show the numbers for all the marriages and divorces that were initiated and then ended in the same year. Don’t see THOSE figures anywhere. I’ve been married 43 years this week. We’ve had our ups and downs. But like you said, Michelle, what in life doesn’t? Our pastor used to add at the end of her marriage ceremonies: Love each other for who you are; forgive each other for who you are not. Best marriage advice I’ve ever heard.

    (The other two, btw, are parenting and getting older!)


    1. OMG congratulations!! 43 years is just EPIC. And I totally agree with you on all fronts. The statistics are just part of the propaganda mill. Don’t even get me started on parenting, thought I’m not sure that I even understand what getting old is…but hey, I’ll find out sooner or later what it means to me. Right?


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