My Sista asks me if society doesn’t push women to believe this or that or the other. My sista, before I even look at the tweet, let me tell you what society tells me.
- Society tells me that I should embrace myself, while telling me I will never feel like a strong beautiful woman until I lose maybe 40 pounds and my skin is about 4 shades lighter than it is.
To this society I say, I am short and my hair is too, and nappy, and I am the color of dark chocolate, and I love that no matter how many pretty light skinned chicks you use as mascots for my blackness. I am over weight but not obese and I will never be a size 2.
- Society tells me, especially Caribbean society, that I am not a woman until I have had a child, it also tells me that I am less that other women for having a child. Because having a house and a car and being exhausted from overwork is what I should strive for and having a kid, to distract me from that grandeur is just wrong. No one notices that mothers are just as strung out as the single chicks even more so.
To this society I say, it’s my uterus and my salary. Get over it.
- Society tells me that I must have an opinion. I must pick a side, based on my gender, my sexual orientation, my socio economic situation, my background, my nationality, my race and on and on.
To this society I say no. First and formost I am human, and if there is so much between me and my fellow man to block the sight of his/her humanity, then there is something wrong with my vision and I need to unblock it.
- Society tells me that not having a degree makes one less than our learned colleagues . Not just less qualified, but less of a human being. While telling me it doesn’t matter because education is a conspiracy set forth by the well to do to keep me down.
To this I say I am an intelligent woman, and qualifications are not a measure of that. Just look at parliament.
- Society tells me that a 4 year engagement is ridiculous because how dare I not want to be married, not matter my emotional, psychological or economic state. They say more power to me for being single and independent. They ask where I am going with three kids, while asking me when I’m going to have another.
- Society says that as a poet, as a writer, I must sell sex. The explicit raw, nasty, pornographic kind to gain the favor of the masses. I need to abandon my love of the literary. Of metaphor and whimsy and write filth to be loved.
To this I say. Read and weep. Those words are not welcome here.
- Society tells me that I am property, and my only purpose now is to be the ball and chain that he runs from. That my rings are a symbol of servitude and the end of my freedom, they tell me I’ve lost myself my individuality. While telling me that my Sistas on the other side of the matrimonial fence are simultaneously better off, better kept and envious of me. That I should see them all as completion, because for all their freedom they want to be me. So I should envy them.
To this I laugh. Society doesn’t know me very well. Society doesn’t know jack. So yes my Sista society is trying to tell you what to think. But if you are as strong willed and strong minded as you think you are, you wouldn’t give a shit about society. You would be an individual and do you, not caring what society has to say, because in the end society is just a group of conflicting assholes trying to fit in or make us feel less that for not fitting in with them. The question was accompanied by a tweet. Some average Josephine tweeting bile into the world, because you know, that’s what social media is for. As for the tweet. I appreciate the Irony of it, and there is some truth for some folks. For others it’s just a catchy song that married or single I can shake my booty to. Beyonce is an entertainer and she sings what sells, is all. It’s not that serious. Further little Miss Venon is only one small part of kaleidoscope of conflicting opinions in our society. And that’s all it is, an opinion, again not that serious.
But my Sista. Let me ask you. Don’t answer because I really only want you to contemplate you.
Are your full? Is your soul filled? Are you happy with you and what you have? What you have strived for, does it fulfill you? Who you chose to stay in your life, does he or she or they make you happy? Are you happy? If the answer is yes then, join me in a middle finger solute to society and live you, no matter what they say.
If the answer is no, then what will it take? And when you figure it out, go for it, and again joining me in a middle finger solute to society.