Things they won’t ever tell you

2014-07-12-InternationalWomensDay

In response to A Good Woman’s – A Tuesday list of ten. Ten things I wish I figured out sooner.

  1. There is nothing short of death you won’t live through.
  2. Being overwhelmed does not mean I’m incompetent.
  3. Getting angry is sometimes necessary.
  4. Bring food and come naked is sometimes the only thing needed.
  5. House work, work work and all other forms of exertion will still be there tomorrow.
  6. Validation doesn’t come from outside. Most people can’t give it to you anyway, because they don’t have it themselves.
  7. Children Cry. It’s what they do. Sometimes they just need to.
  8. Treat myself. If I don’t think I’m worthy of reward, nobody else will either.
  9. My kids are not the Beaver, I don’t need to live up to sister June.
  10. It’s never as serious as it seems.

These are ten things no one ever tells you when you have a kid, or enter into a relationship.

Indeed many a night I have found myself in fetal position, eyes swollen retching agony onto this plain, simply because someone told me that I wasn’t mother enough, house wife enough, or woman enough. And I believed them.

I myself forgot that I was only human, working hard and hardly sleeping just to eek out a living that I could be comfortable with. There are still days I stop and wonder why I’m doing it. Because Lord knows I have little to show for nearly 10 years of thankless servitude to the man (who has sometimes been a woman) and his brother the side gig. Seeing mothering and lovering as some herculean task that needed some huge meticulous production. Not such a thing. These things are purely products of my individual situation and thus are dictate-able by me.

But see now I know, that feeling of tired satisfaction, those moments with the kids sleeping or giggling or playing despite it all, and of course those moments with the Chief when we just vibe, are the goal.

As we said in my Granny’s eulogy, life is made in the small moments. So those are what we strive for, find rapture in and hold dear. Everything else is just chaff, and the winds of time blow them away.

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8 thoughts on “Things they won’t ever tell you

  1. Thanks for the pingback. I like your list and I think it has some interesting twists. I especially like the point about treating yourself to some reward, because you deserve it. Many of those could be on my list too. I chuckled over your kids not being the Beaver and you don’t need to live up to June. Some real truths on your list.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I will admit I still struggle with #3. I find myself all distraught with worry about something…and then I have to talk myself through it or out of it. But at least I have learned not to let it consume me.

        Like

  2. What an awesome blog post! I especially liked #4.

    But this: As we said in my Granny’s eulogy, life is made in the small moments. So those are what we strive for, find rapture in and hold dear. Everything else is just chaff, and the winds of time blow them away.

    That is so, so beautiful and true. Loved it, Michelle.

    Like

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