Miss Mary and her anticlimax

So remember my friend? The friend of a friend really, who was grappling with the idea of losing her weed-ginity? Well I finally caught up with her again and it seems she made the decision to give it up. A decision not taken lightly, but after much mulling, and talking and even a prayer or two, she decided to take the plunge. She decided to do it in a safe place, with people she could ultimately trust, and in a way that wouldn’t have her wondering if her lungs were going to retaliate with a tumor or six.

Her poison was Mari-infused cake, her expectations were high and so was her curiosity, and in the end it played out very differently that she expected.

Now we all have that friend, the one who sings the praises of Mary Jane, calling her the healing of the nation, making it seem like she is the answer to all things. The promise that with her comes the opening of the cosmos, communion with the spirits, and a new awareness that will blow your mind. This is what my friend of a friend thought would be the outcome, she fully expected an experience worth writing home to mother about. She cleared out the memory shelf, right next to her top three orgasms, her food-speriment successes, and the high she gets from the small moments with her family.

I regret to inform that the space is still empty, as the experience did not live up to the hype. There was no riding the cosmos, no grand hallucinations, not even the described floating feeling. Which for a big girl is really really something to look forward to.

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Instead she found herself feeling like her bones had dissolved, allowing her only enough energy to shuffle inelegantly to her bed, for about 36 hours. She slept and when she was forced to wake, she faced the world with eyes hard to focus, and constantly trying to roll back in her sockets. Her sense of balance was gone, which was kind of scary because she and gravity have been frenimies since day one. Very suddenly she was not in control of her body, having to fight for every movement. Trapped in a lethargy that her mind resented and very much wanted to be over.

That’s right, her mind was still there. Fully aware and able to process what was happening. It wondered many times, during what she now looks back on as “The ordeal”, why people tried to sell this thing so hard. There were people at the gathering acting like they had landed on cloud nine, when all she felt was the need to crawl into a dark cool place. Even the giggles were a momentary amusement.

What she did appreciate about the whole thing, and this is the weird part, is that  all the voices that live in her head, for that period where quiet. The characters who live in her creative box, her doubts and fears, all the bad things were gone. Letting her think, while she waited for it to be over, on her plot, it let her look objectively on some issues she had been manfully avoiding and that was kinda nice. But with her doubts etc, also went her passion and excitement. And as she hashed out some ideas about a serial killer thriller she was writing, she also thought that maybe her compassion and a bit of her humanity had also gone MIA. The jury is still out on if that was a good thing.

Was it worth it? Maybe. maybe not. It’s still a toss up. One of the things as you may have gleaned that gives pause is the total loss of control, and the not seeing it coming. At least with alcohol you can feel your limit coming on.

Would she do it again? Again it’s a toss up, with a high probability of No.

Would she encourage others? No, she never advocated for being out of control of ones faculties. You get better highs from doing things, making achievements, maybe even hanging around with other people who get you, eating something dripping with chocolate or bacon, or if you need something really powerful, good – great sex. And none of those things comes with a warning label about driving or heavy machinery.

So that was her weed-sperience, and all in all it was a learning experience, and for a woman of science knowledge is what it’s all about. It may not have made the best high ever shelf, but it made the archive definitely.

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