I don’t know why, but in the last few days whenever I pop up on social media there are folks arguing about suicide of all things. Some say they have no sympathy and some condemn those that don’t. They are heartless they say, how dare they is the chant. And I’m forced to wonder if any of these arguing people have a clue. I mean really?
How many of them understand what it is to stand at the precipice of wanting to end your own life? How many know what it really is to feel so terribly alone, and hopeless, and lost, and caged, and desperate. How many of them know how little help there really is for those who find themselves there. But the condemnations fly. I don’t see any understanding of people who have been pulled back by someone who cared, or who have had to find the strength to do the pulling themselves. But the indignation is there in force.
I haven’t seen yet the slightest bit of sympathy for the people suicide victims leave behind, and the pain they endure. The guilt of never seeing it coming, and endlessly wondering if there was something you could have done. No thought to the children, or family members, who will never understand how someone that they loved and depended on could have abandoned them so abruptly. And how those feelings might translate to hate, and remorse. How that may be shared with others and how that can result in what looks like a lack of empathy.
You see how that story has two sides, both in need of delicate treatment? How maybe it’s not all just black and white, and how maybe this loud linear way of thinking doesn’t help?
I’m all for advocating, but as an advocate don’t you need to understand that the obvious victim is not always the only victim? As someone looking to affect change, how do you think you can do that, without understanding the scope of the problem? How do you justify hurling condensation, from the safety of your device, in your comfort zone, as the only thing you do as standing up for something.
Many people, I’ve come to believe see these things, as an opportunity for personal gain. For self promotion and the building of a persona that looks all altruistic, but every time I see someone just hurling accusations and inflammatory statements in the name of a cause, I’m forced to wonder what their motivations really are.
And it’s on both sides of the issue, not just this one but many other, there are folks just talking. Making the chatter loud and unavoidable. Muddying the water with their lack luster opinions based on little more than what they have read in this post or that. They don’t understand the harm they are doing, turning away people who may very well need a little guidance and understanding themselves.
That’s my two cents, or at least the bit of it I can manage to write down right now. I hope it gives reason for a little hesitation and reflection. Maybe even a little research and some genuine reaching out.