Listening to road Noise: conflict

SW_NateMueller

We’ve all had our share of conflict, haven’t we? We all know that it’s a part of life and that we really can’t avoid conflict of one kind or another. As we grow older we learn to cope with all the different flavors of conflict that life presents us. We learn the causes and triggers, we learn escape routes and safe havens. We learn to duck and cover where we must and if we can’t we learn defense mechanisms.

Some of us go on the offensive. We scream and kick, we fight and fight and rage and brawl. We expend our energy on solutions or resolutions or just in making our protagonist elements burn. I’ve found that those are the ways of the young, perhaps not in age, but young in thought. When you have no experience and all ideals, when you have all the energy in the world. Before the world wears you down, and shaped you into something different.

Then you learn not to fight so hard, or more rather to fight smart. You stop shouting and listen, stop kicking and wait, you don’t rage and bawl because somewhere along the way you’ve found a temple of calm. A sort of zen space, that descends around you in times of need like an Armour. Mine is made of adamantium and lined with fur. A safe mind space, where I can reflect and plan. It’s a combination of all the safe places I’ve had to run to over the years, and all the remedies I’ve found to take all condensed into a frame of mind.

If it were a space it would be an old English study, all comfortable leather, and comfy throw rugs, with books lining the walls. Books as far as the eye could see, just waiting to be opened and provide instructions, or logic, or encouragement. Even a recipe book of the best chocolate recipes for when things have gone all up the fubar and all I can do is give in to what ever.

Yes we all deal with conflict, and we all learn to deal with it. We all come to accept it and we all can attest that there are times when it makes us better.

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7 thoughts on “Listening to road Noise: conflict

  1. You forgot the roaring fireplace and a silver tray full of little sandwiches and tea cakes for your coffee and tea! I bet you have it decorated just like mine! Sounds like it! Great post, actually. You’re right. The world wears you down and you stop struggling so much because that along with bawling just tightens the ropes!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Is that really the impression? It’s not at all my intent. The truth is I seem to have lived fast up until now. I was a child raised in a war zone of a home among other things, and in my early teens I raged and raged. By the time I was in college I was doing all kinds of self destructive things. Alcoholism, depression even a brush with suicide. I think I raged mostly against myself in my twenties as I took on the habit of blaming myself for everything, even the things that happened as a result of events before my birth or perhaps because of it, and being a mother right out the gate didn’t help at all. The result of rebellious raging lol.

      But perhaps because I was a mother at 20, a mother of 3 by 27, I was kinda forced to stop and consider. To really think through because, well, it wasn’t just me anymore, and going on a bender when things got real wasn’t an option. So my “wisdom” is born purely of experience.

      I think what helped me most was finding my voice and being able to express things through my poetry. Pieces like “My truth” and “Defiance” are generally my way of processing all the raging and the bawling. I think I’m rambling I’m gonna stop now. Sorry.

      Liked by 1 person

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