Dear Impressionist


Impressionist: a person who is especially adept or extremely intent on creating a false impression, usually one that emulates a more verbose version of some form of them self.

Yes, dear impressionist,

I must say it’s been in the works a while, this post, as I’ve watched you, try with a little bit too  much effort for it to be convincing, to make the rest of us to believe that you are both happy and fulfilled.

Now I know your mouth is open, and you are gearing you to tell me all where my mother pushed me out of, but we both know I fully admit to all my flaws. Most days loudly and with much crotchetyness. So yes, I am all those derogatory things churning around in your brain, and yes I am aware, probably of a few more that you have no idea about.

But I am ok with that.

On to you. My question to you is: Why? Seriously why? Why is it so important? Why is this persona even necessary at all? For the most part all you get is dispassionate raising of an eyebrow as people scroll on past. Maybe a disingenuous  compliment followed by gossip. Neither of which fills your coffers right? Not the financial ones as you still broke, and not the emotional ones cause you still trying to make impression.

Believe you me, some of them folks commenting who know your real situation are very very chatty. Yeah, I know they chat with me and about me too. So you can take it on authority because the same way you filled your arsenal with facts about my personals is the same way I know you’re a fraud.  That mutual friend, the he or she over so, that we both thought was on our side.

All in all, I think despite all that effort you are a pretty OK person. Well unless I don’t think so, in which case you probably already know how I feel about you. Being one, with not enough time to put on airs.

Truth is I would like to invite you out for a drink, cut out our hypocritical middle man/woman, and just vibe. I’m pretty sure we might hit it off, and if not I have a built in designated driver.

If your answer is yes, drop me a line, in the drop me a line, option under my about page. We can set up a date, if not then just know. Most folks really don’t care, we are all trying to keep our ish together, and genuinely wish you the best. Other than that…


Much Love,

The person who didn’t buy it, even before your friend told me about you trying to fish a response out of me, so they could tell you I said.


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