I think every parent in the history of parenting has had this moment. Well…not this exact moment, but one kind of like it. One where you are standing there in your casual glory and one of your kids finds something so far up the embarrassment scale its astronomical, and slings it in front of…gasp… company.
Now here I am, dispensing a few bottles of holiday wine, well not holiday wine, but wine that will be part of a holiday celebration, chatting in that polite way.
Ok, again not really I was relaying some of Logan’s latest embarrassing shenanigans. And IT happened.
Eva found my Goodie drawer and chose that moment to ask me, what THIS is. The child comes out and what is swinging in front of her but one of our favorite Toys, in the adult sense.
So here I am feeling smooth, knowing 1. That my guest knows exactly what this is and it’s purpose, and 2. I am sooo gonna be judged for this. I say to the child. “Err..just go put that down, back where you found it.” She in all her innocent wonder, runs back inside.
Not two second after I breath the worlds biggest awkward sigh, comes the slightly less high pitched voice of her brother. “MOM, Eva is putting your Thing in her mouth!!!”
My brain being what it is, goes, thank sweet Baby Jesus you washed and sterilized that thing since last it made an appearance at..eh hem… play. Simultaneously excusing myself to save my daughter from many many years of therapy to come.
No? You other parents out there haven’t had one of these moments? never had to deal with the red faced flushed feeling of utter exposure at the absolute worst time?
Well count yourself lucky. I’m gonna go buy a padlock for that damn drawer.