This moment

At this moment 10 years ago, I had just given birth. I had a lovely, perfect little girl in my arms, and my whole world as far as I knew was over. I was wrong and that little girl has bought me joy and pain and wonder and excitement and some really profound moments.

Right now, 4 years ago, I was just waking up to give a new born boy, my newborn boy, his second ever breast feeding, having birthed him just a few hours prior. I was also only a few moments away from changing my first dirty diaper from that same little boy. His first gift to me. Again, I was afraid. I wasn’t ready. I was not well received, I was again outcast-ed by my decision to bring forth life.

Again I was wrong. This boy, my source of non-stop hugs and kisses. Has been a joy, a comfort, a blessing, an annoyance, a soothing balm when all else is a mess.

Yeah I was searching for the right pic or the right song and that one I think fits the bill. While my tumults may not have been as grand, they were, and they were undertaken in the manner I though best for the sake of the three most important folks in my life. My kids.

I’ll admit that meant, taking stock of my temper, being more humble than I should have been or should be in some cases, taking a few for the team. But today, at this moment, reflecting on the two births of my two youngest, both on this day.

It was worth it, it is worth it, and I can’t express how grateful I am for the love of my kids.

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