Superman vs Batman

I have tried very hard to keep the spoilers to a minimum, I think I did a pretty good job of it.

That being said, if you like gratuitous violence with absolutely no great moral justification, dark emotional-ness, grit and issues born of either parental abandonment/tragedy or odd moral ambiguity,  then this is the movie for you. Sufficed to say I like it, not loved it but like it, and here’s why.


The story telling in this movie made my head hurt. I gotta give it to this director and the casting crew, this thing had quite a few heavy hitters outside of the main cast and visually it was sexy as hell. It was a sight, many sights even, to behold and be captivated by. For it’s grandeur it is really a work of art. That, however, was detracted by the disjointed way the thing was put together, using dreamscaped and flashbacks to fill in, though not very well, the very many plot holes they created.

Created perhaps because these folks were more intent on setting up the Justice League than telling us an actual story. I get it, Marvel has set the bar high and you have to catch up. But Marvel took time and great writing, so the strategy of cram it all in there in one film, I think, is rather insulting to your audience. Smashing, the introduction of Lex, Wonder Woman, Doomsday, Aqua Man, Cyborg, and the Flash,(Who has a perfectly great show and will definitely suffer from any tinkering.) into one movie was just too much. Superman getting an ass whopping from the Bat wold have been worth my eleven dollars.

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That being said, OMG was it satisfying to see that part of it. The action, Wonder woman in action, Batman in action, the few moments when Superman wasn’t succumbed with emotion, or posing heroically, or mooning over the ever useless Lois, was both satisfying and awesome. At one point I was vibrating in my seat, literally, ready to scream and shake like a cranked out meth-head, so high was I on the action. One over zealous Rastaman, who shall remain nameless…actually did run up and down the isles at one point.

That being said, (I’m saying that a lot today aren’t I?) what exactly was the reasoning behind like-everything:

1. Lois’s story-line was just out of place and completely irrelevant in the grand scheme, unless that was another bad set up for something way way down the road.

2. The one theme we seem to be perpetuating throughout the film was blind hatred. Which is fine, I guess if you are into that or if you are a villain. Have I told you how much I loved this rendition of Lex? No? Well there you have it. But for me it was just too far into the realm of moral ambiguity for our heroes. That is what they were supposed to be, right? Seeing Batman go all Scarface, and Superman with no real guiding boy-in-blue ethics left me hollow, somewhere deep in my soul, where I still look to literature of this sort for that  better-men-something-to-aspire-to thing. You know? When you watch it tell me if you agree.

Finally,3., Y’all could have done better by the final big bad, the man deserved a better rendition and at least his own movie, again a good super whooping would have been enough.

This movie left me physically cranked all the way up. But emotionally frustrated and intellectually with an overwhelming sense of Meh. I give it a 5. Oh, and Ben, no need to be sad, you were a pretty good Batman/Bruce, not the best, but pretty damn good.What was sucky about it had nothing to do with you. Pat yourself on the back, you beat out Kilmer, Coloney and Arnett.

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Now to you, yes you the lady one row down and one space to the left. I hope you guys share this so it gets back to her, whomever she may be. The reason I help up my sweater to shield my eyes when you whipped out your device was because in the dark room, with the lights out, and the darkness of the film, your phone light HURT MY EYES. So next time someone tries to protect themselves from your cruelty don’t have the balls to scowl or complain, try buying a privacy screen to protect us from your lack of theater etiquette.

To make the matter worse. You couldn’t google the damn movie before we got half hour in? Hell, before you bought the damn ticket? WTF lady? *turns to everyone else* And you know, to add insult to injury, the woman googled, not only the movie, actors, but the type of weapons used ALL THROUGH THE MOVIE!!!! ARGH.

You know what, I’m going to retreat now, because if I pinch my nose bridge any harder at this woman I’m gonna hurt myself. Peace folks. I look forward to hearing what you thought of this movie.





2 thoughts on “Superman vs Batman

  1. You know, I haven’t seen any of these Superman or Batman movies. They just didn’t appeal to me like the Avengers do. But this one in particular I would never go see. These are supposed to be our heroes and yet here they are fighting each other. What are kids who hold them in such high regard supposed to think? That would have kept me from seeing it right there. Give me more movies like Pacific Rim!


    1. I think these folks think they can’t compete with marvel for the wit and rightness and epicness. So, knowing this they decided to go dark, and boy did they step in a big stinking pile of darkness, bordering on emo-ness. So much so they went the route of humanizing their heroes. Giving them human flaws, all be it the worst of them. I think they also put themselves to bed at night thinking that we relate better to these characters, and that the kids who looked up to these characters have grown into these cynical people who hate the idea of moral rightness even in the face of difficulty. They are wrong though, on all accounts. These were the characters that helped most of us not to become that.


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