Tag Archives: Ben Affleck

Suicide Squad: I call Shenanigans

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Suicide Squad, one of the most anticipated and well marketed films of recent superhero movie times. Anticipated by nerds of all sizes, from an array of nationalities, and DC lovers and DC-not quite lovers alike. We got it, we went to see it, and since then the internet has been ablaze with criticism. Well, to be honest with ourselves some folks were kicking hell even before the first trailer hit YouTube. But I’ll talk about that later. All in all it doesn’t deserve all this hate, it really doesn’t, and here’s why.

I recommend that you watch it, as this review will contain some spoilers. It’s inevitable that a rant of this magnitude will contain spoilers, so if you have yet to see it, please scroll no further, but know you have my staunch encouragement to watch this movie.

Almighty then  folks, you passed the point, now here why I call shenanigans on both the studio and the critics.

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  1. Everybody, but everybody has something to say about Harley. Played well by the very diverse and endearing Margot Robbie, Harley is the former psychiatrist of the Joker, who he drove insane, tortured and then dipped in the same ooze that gave him his signature look. She has seen many an interpretation even in my relatively short lifetime in her many comic arcs, however the one fundamental fact has always stood true, she has Stockholm and is, for lack of a better phrase, completely off her rocker. I think the movie tried to soften the abuse part, maybe thinking it would damage our sensibilities. Shenanigans I tell you, our sensibilities need to learn to appreciate the original art.

This made a lot of women apparently uncomfortable as they figured little girls would want to use her as an example, which leads me to believe that either, we’ve been teaching our daughters that an abusive significant other is the one to have, or the folks making the fuss have very little idea about what it is that actually carries on with the comics. Shenanigans again!! This is a franchise based on comics after all, which should make research one of the most fun things ever, especially since you don’t even have to enter your local neighborhood nerdtopia anymore. In any case, I find that Margot ( may I call you Margot?) did great. Hat tipped to you Hun.

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2. Jared Leto is no Heath LedgerNow we can all agree that a. the Batman franchise has become a world of dark psychological thrill, and b. Heath was arguable the best Joker of life. I mean EVER. Jared then had the cards stacked against him from the time he signed this contract.

I don’t know who orchestrated his costumes, what with the tattoos and the teeth, but we need to find that guy and ask him about his feelings towards his Parents. Suffice it to say I feel about this Joker the way many of you felt about the latest Lex Luther. He did not impress, he was definitely not what I expected, and he deviated far from any of the Joker personas I have known before. Glen tells me I should just sit back and accept it, as the tone of the movie is set by whatever psychosis this director thinks the bat is suffering from. But I call shenanigans, could we not have gotten a little more energy at least? Gawd. This Joker, felt lethargic and generic, like for research he just watched The Godfather and fell asleep half way through and just decided to wing it. The Joker in the Killing Joke was better man. GAWD.

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3. Everybody forgot this was a Bad guy movie. Granted that most of these folks weren’t inherently evil. Harley was the only one there, who seemed genuinely true to the whole I’m-bad-and-I-like-it shtick. Some critics apparently took this as the greatest of cinema sins, but what is a villain really? Either someone who is good in their own eyes and ‘misunderstood’, someone psychotic, or someone who wants to take over the world. Come to think of it, that’s what I like about the villains of the DCEU they are unapologetic. Deadshot likes shooting things and is proud of his rep as a perfect marksman. His only miss ever being the Bat. Diablo is a fire god, nuff said. Crock is a crock with humanish traits, etc.

I find the way the flashbacks and back story for each character were integrated in a satisfactory fashion. For the team, I am satisfied. I think they could have done the soundtrack better. I expected it to feel all John Wick, but ack, who can do it all?

4. These two characters. These two characters, annoyed me to no end. Both had godlike powers that they severely under utilized. Is it because the studio felt we couldn’t handle the power? Is it because villains are supposed to be dumb and thwart themselves? I don’t know. But if I was a fire god capable of melting the heart of another god, I would melt that mother into goo. Not give up and let a bomb do it. A bomb, and not even a nuke? Really? Is more effective than the force of the sun? Shenanigans!!!

As for little miss overly sinuous. I’m all for a little gyration, but she was just a bit much on the wink up part. Calm your ass down on the hip motion and figure out how to use your powers dammit. In the end the epic fail of this lower level boss was her inability to exploit all the greatness she displayed before the last 15 minutes of the movie. You mean to tell me you can teleport to some Asian country and steal their military secrets but you can’t get away from a sword stroke, or materialize around your heart as it flies through the air? Why would you fight with swords anyway oh all powerful millennia old witch? Ugh, what is it with the DCEU and ruining their movies with bad climaxes?

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5. Bow down and worship at the feet of Viola Davis. Spoiler, Spoiler, big big big BIG spoiler!!!!!!!!!!! This woman is by far the best and most villainous part of this movie. They tell us the Squad are the bad guys but in the hierarchy of evil in this story they are at level two. All of them including the witch. Below them are the henchmen, and below them are the solder boy and Katana. At the top of baddy bad list is Amanda Waller, played by Viola Davis. Who makes me fully believe, in her sexy as hell brand of Sociopath.

Through the film we see her kill indiscriminately, threaten and main and it is absolutely everything the trailers promised. She is like the Anti-Nick Fury, but better. Way way better. I love it, Love her, JUST LOVE!!!

On that note, I guess it’s time for me to wrap it up. I’m sure some nerd out there reading this is having the aneurysm of objection. I give this a 8. -3 for the witch and her brother, – 1 for Heathen and Sucker for pain only coming up prominently in the credits, -1 Joker, -1 for the unnecessary Batman appearances and then add back 4 for Viola’s performance.

Go watch it, read the comics, emote, then opinionate. Love you guys, see ya later.

Oh I almost forgot, for the folks who continually blinded me by taking selfies during the movie. Please smack yourselves a lot. When are y’all gonna learn compassion? And why did you waste the money to buy a ticket to sit in a dark room taking selfies? Ugh. Shenanigans!!!!!

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Superman vs Batman

I have tried very hard to keep the spoilers to a minimum, I think I did a pretty good job of it.

That being said, if you like gratuitous violence with absolutely no great moral justification, dark emotional-ness, grit and issues born of either parental abandonment/tragedy or odd moral ambiguity,  then this is the movie for you. Sufficed to say I like it, not loved it but like it, and here’s why.

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The story telling in this movie made my head hurt. I gotta give it to this director and the casting crew, this thing had quite a few heavy hitters outside of the main cast and visually it was sexy as hell. It was a sight, many sights even, to behold and be captivated by. For it’s grandeur it is really a work of art. That, however, was detracted by the disjointed way the thing was put together, using dreamscaped and flashbacks to fill in, though not very well, the very many plot holes they created.

Created perhaps because these folks were more intent on setting up the Justice League than telling us an actual story. I get it, Marvel has set the bar high and you have to catch up. But Marvel took time and great writing, so the strategy of cram it all in there in one film, I think, is rather insulting to your audience. Smashing, the introduction of Lex, Wonder Woman, Doomsday, Aqua Man, Cyborg, and the Flash,(Who has a perfectly great show and will definitely suffer from any tinkering.) into one movie was just too much. Superman getting an ass whopping from the Bat wold have been worth my eleven dollars.

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That being said, OMG was it satisfying to see that part of it. The action, Wonder woman in action, Batman in action, the few moments when Superman wasn’t succumbed with emotion, or posing heroically, or mooning over the ever useless Lois, was both satisfying and awesome. At one point I was vibrating in my seat, literally, ready to scream and shake like a cranked out meth-head, so high was I on the action. One over zealous Rastaman, who shall remain nameless…actually did run up and down the isles at one point.

That being said, (I’m saying that a lot today aren’t I?) what exactly was the reasoning behind like-everything:

1. Lois’s story-line was just out of place and completely irrelevant in the grand scheme, unless that was another bad set up for something way way down the road.

2. The one theme we seem to be perpetuating throughout the film was blind hatred. Which is fine, I guess if you are into that or if you are a villain. Have I told you how much I loved this rendition of Lex? No? Well there you have it. But for me it was just too far into the realm of moral ambiguity for our heroes. That is what they were supposed to be, right? Seeing Batman go all Scarface, and Superman with no real guiding boy-in-blue ethics left me hollow, somewhere deep in my soul, where I still look to literature of this sort for that  better-men-something-to-aspire-to thing. You know? When you watch it tell me if you agree.

Finally,3., Y’all could have done better by the final big bad, the man deserved a better rendition and at least his own movie, again a good super whooping would have been enough.

This movie left me physically cranked all the way up. But emotionally frustrated and intellectually with an overwhelming sense of Meh. I give it a 5. Oh, and Ben, no need to be sad, you were a pretty good Batman/Bruce, not the best, but pretty damn good.What was sucky about it had nothing to do with you. Pat yourself on the back, you beat out Kilmer, Coloney and Arnett.

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Now to you, yes you the lady one row down and one space to the left. I hope you guys share this so it gets back to her, whomever she may be. The reason I help up my sweater to shield my eyes when you whipped out your device was because in the dark room, with the lights out, and the darkness of the film, your phone light HURT MY EYES. So next time someone tries to protect themselves from your cruelty don’t have the balls to scowl or complain, try buying a privacy screen to protect us from your lack of theater etiquette.

To make the matter worse. You couldn’t google the damn movie before we got half hour in? Hell, before you bought the damn ticket? WTF lady? *turns to everyone else* And you know, to add insult to injury, the woman googled, not only the movie, actors, but the type of weapons used ALL THROUGH THE MOVIE!!!! ARGH.

You know what, I’m going to retreat now, because if I pinch my nose bridge any harder at this woman I’m gonna hurt myself. Peace folks. I look forward to hearing what you thought of this movie.

 

 

 

Does that make me crazy?

Now I’ve finally watched Gone Girl. I didn’t want to It’s a Ben Affleck movie, and anyone who knows me knows that I have an irrational dislike of this man. Just can’t stand him, maybe it’s his face, there is just so much of it, or that lumbering way he walks, or the way he just seems indifferent to everything, this dude is the epitome of what people accuse Kristen Stewart of Being. Ugh. But I digress. Back to Gone Girl.

Let me say that I love the dialog between the couple when they met, it was so cute. How they bantered, how they interacted iit made me smile. Indeed the way Amy spoke was just poetic I loved it. But in this generic story line I found a gem. Let me explain.

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It started when the recession hit. Now we all know that money, the inequity of it, or the lack of it can kill a relationship. But alot of the time it’s not the trial of having to adjust it is the psychology of it. Someone has more, and the other person feels entitled, get resentful and boom the loving partner that started the saga is now some stranger that we don’t know. Really?

What happened to I love you for you? What happened to words like forever, and unconditional?

I am so tired of characters being portrayed as lazy slobs who would rather blame the woman for being dissatisfied and demanding she be happy with whatever meager effort, if any they put into a relationship.Rather than finding out why she is unhappy and dealing with it. The kind of characters so emboldened by their own BS, that they convince themselves that salvation of their bad husbandry is found in the vagina of another woman who demands less of them. Ugh.

Not that Miss Amy was any kind of walk in the park. This chick is just plain evil. Killing Dougie Howser? Dude that was just COLD.

But Dougie aside, I guess if I were a sociopath in love with an emotional dyslexic I would probably kill a few people too. Does that make me crazy though? Indeed I love the way Villains love, selfishly and obsessively. They don’t care what the world says or what they have to go through to obtain and keep their love, they do, and do and do. No matter who else or what else may stand in their way. Their concern is only for them and their love, no matter who else’s needs may try to come before or between. Those obstacles are obliterated by any means. They love hard and deep, and that is admirable. If I had a choice I would fall for a villain like Amy, I’d just make sure to try my best to live up to the love they dish out. Or have a contingency plan in place, you know. Just in case.

Does that make me crazy?