Tag Archives: movie

Ghostbusters 2016: Definitely a Bust.

Talk about a movie with controversy. Talk about a talked about movie. Talk about a movie that sparked gender conversations. Yep, we are talking about the Ghostbusters remake. Seems like for months all we did was talk, talk, talk. Even I got sucked in and did some of the talking, as per my previous Post on this matter.

You see, this thing had people coming out in droves, not to discuss the issues surrounding film making, or the fact that Hollywood imagination has dried up and all we get now is formula RomComs, and remakes. The only good original movies left are the Superhero movies and some of them have so many reboots some of us are frankly fed up. We discussed none of that ,but instead, discussed this directors take on gender issues in film.

This movie had us all focused on the fact that it was a gender swap and not the fact that it is completely unencumbered by the original material. Material that I may refer to as we continue. Men cried out in its support because they didn’t want to appear sexist, women rallied behind it because feminism and the studio and co just sat there like…

img-20160909-wa0003.jpg

…the poof, however, was in the pudding, and while I had to wait for said pudding to come out on DVD since I missed it in theaters, this is my review on the sour taste it left in my mouth.

That’s right this think left me very unhappy, for the simple reason that it did exactly what I figured it would do. It shifted the focus away from the things that made the original a nerd classic and focused almost entirely on the womanly plight of the women.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are some things that only someone in possession of a fully functional, biologically accurate set of jugs and a vagina has to go through. I fully understand that there are certain social set backs that lots of women have to endure, I understand this. I am after all a woman and have to experience these things everywhere from the supermarket, to the gaming world, to the workplace to my very home. I appreciate the plight, I really do, but I don’t let it ruin me.  All of my role models rise and thrive despite it, and I hoped this movie would do that too. Show women confident and rising above, not bogged down by it all. But it didn’t.

Instead it told the story of a set of women who ultimately wanted to gain legitimacy in a field that wasn’t taken seriously, but were plagued by sexism even more that the skepticism of the scientific community. While, ironically, they themselves exhibiting the same sexism to a gender stereotype parody. Which kind of sucks if the whole point of the movie was to rise about the sexism that the people said they were battling my making the movie in the first place.

Granted the original Ghostbusters may not have had to deal with the sexism, but they did have to deal with the skepticism. It wasn’t, as I remember it, as major a theme and it was approached with a certain amount of nerd cockiness that everyone who has ever enjoyed chemistry class knows well. These chicks didn’t have that…and it hurt me, as someone who very much enjoys chemistry class.

gb_headshot_thumbs_gb2016_02-1

No, seriously, I didn’t think you could make Chris Hemsworth unsexy. I didn’t think it was possible without the help of a major fast food chain, outlawing all fitness centers and his sexy accent and a severe water outage, but this movie did it. Bastardizing the character of the Ghostbusters secretary, from a smart, witty, capable person to a husk with mush or empty space where his brains ought to be. Someone tried to tell me that it was a commentary on the way women are portrayed in film, but not even under the guise of satirical hypocrisy do I buy it. It was too blatant and overdone, to be funny.

Speaking of funny, I also didn’t know that you could take comedians of this caliber and make them so blah. Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig where completely buried under all that social statementing, so much so their humor got pretty lost. Which was rather disappointing for me. I did after all watch this movie for them, thinking, at least there will be laughs in. Alas, they were few, far between and had little to do with these clever actresses.

They even screwed up Slimer!!! And NEVER explained the significance of the slime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What more proof do you need that this movie wasn’t really about Ghostbusting?

And don’t get me started on the most petty, washed out, generic, forgettable and again stereotypical bad guy ever. This guy, one of the weak minded man architype. And a dude is responsible for this? Ugh, give it a rest already.

OK. I’m being really harsh, so let me inject here that there were precisely two bright sparks in this movie.

Holtzman and Patty, were the best part. Holtzman was as close to Spengler, the character she was based off of, as closely as the skewed vision of this movie would let her. I appreciated that not because she was channeling her male counterpart, or because it hit my nostalgia button, because it didn’t, but because she was the only one of the scientists who seemed to really enjoy the work. For the others it was so forced, or maybe an after thought.

Patty too was pretty nice, again not channeling the original character, but bought a bit of levity and authenticity to the thing. That being said even the cameos of the original crew did nothing for me. Thrown in there, again, like some kind of after though after too many of us complained about them ruining our childhood. I swear if the 90’s could sue, the directors, writers and executives of the movie industry would be little better than homeless paupers.

All in all I can only give this thing marks for the special effects which were OK, made to the senses less than awesome by the blah that was the film, Holtzman and Patty. So…3/10, and that I give grudgingly.

Dude, next time you want to make a social commentary piece, leave the classics alone and use something you made up yourself. Your input was very not appreciated. I thank you.

Advertisements

Central Intelligence: Review

poster2

LOL a little Hart and a big Johnson I see what they did there. From the tagline to the poster we know this movie promised us if nothing else a certain level of hilarity I was a bit skeptical about Mr. Johnson and his ability to carry on with such shenanigans.

Suffice it to say that this is the obligatory spoiler alert.

So Central Intelligence, strives to give us the story of the two extremes we find 20 years after high school. You know the archetypes, the ones that make nerds feel OK about the fact that this is life now, the same one that makes the popular pretty people feel all crappy because High school really is the  highlight of their lives.

It does it, but it does it so well. Set against the back ground of a covert operation, within a covert operation, based on a double cross and an agency gone mad. Come to think of it, when you think of it that way, you start to become a bit afraid of those types of agencies and the things that can go wrong with people are trained in subterfuge. They poke a lot of fun at the usual CIA conspiracy theories and spy shows that we see, but are they? Is it just fun really? Oh off mark I think, well OK. Back on track.

maxresdefault (3)

My boy Kev’, gives his signature performance and was rewarded, not only by me, but by every breathing biped in the theater, with laughs. The kind of side aching, belly straining, cheek wetting laughs that most of us only sit and reminisce about. As our two main characters went through their adventure, and buddy bonding exercise. I even found the humor to be quite mature. You know what I mean, there’s usually a cornucopia of adolescent sexual innuendo jokes, and just plain rankness. Not here, it was pretty clean and that was pretty nice. But then The Rock is a family brand. Let’s speak about him for a second.

dwayne-the-rock-johnson-naked-butt-central-intelligence-6816

Now this guy has been a part of my life since I was like 10. First encountering him as part of the WWE roster, and then as an action star. All stoic and strong , with those quippy one liners. I fully expected that when I went into this too. So kind of to play off his seriousness against Hart’s lack thereof. It turns out Dwayne has a lighter side. Who knew.

Oh he was all smash and bash and that was comedic in it’s delivery, but his acting the role what what killed it. That man, with that body, in that character, was both refreshing and endearing. Love it.

What would I give this movie? I think it deserves a solid….Wait…I forgot…

APaul_01

This guy was in the movie, he was our motivation and then our antagonist. He gave us one hell of a boss fight in the end. I guess Mr. White rubbed off huh. Now you see the sense in building and maintaining an empire don’t you Jessie? Well good for you, say hi to Walter when you see him. Tell him I miss him and I think he should have just left Skyler and Jr. and retired some place where there is no extradition.

Anyway back to the rating. I give this one 8/10. It made me laugh, and I’ll definitely watch it again when it gets to TV.

 

 

Finding Dory. Being with Becky, Idris and the boy one row behind me.

The cuteness is real.

giphy (1)

Finding Dory? Where to start? What to say? Awwwww…..Ok that little face is distracting me. Hold on.

*

*

*

*

*

Whelp, Pixar and Disney have done it again with the prequel/sequel  to Finding Nemo in the form of Finding Dory.

In this installment, we learn of our little blue friends’ origins all while she engages us in the adventure of getting all lost and needing to be found while herself trying to find what she lost. Or is to from where she got lost? I don’t know, can’t remember. Just keep typing, just keep typing, just keep typing, typing, typing…

…and we’re back. Well Nemo and Marlin are there, sporting the father/son dynamic, which is very reminiscent of the first movie. You would think that by now Marlin would learn to trust his family which grows to include at least one hilarious Avian, but nope he has to learn all over again.  The old characters who showed up non the less wrapped us all up in a blanket of nostalgia that just set us up.

 We also got some new characters. We got beach bum seals, a grumpy septapus looking for a nice place to retire, a whale shark with vision issues, a beluga with broken sonar and Becky. Oh Becky, how I loved Becky.

 

Being a Disney/Pixar flick we know there is the happiest of endings with everyone finding each other, in the most hilarious and convoluted way they could, all the while tugging at our heart strings and our funny bones repeatedly and in no specific order. The movie as well balanced, with drama and action and laughs and the heart tugging. It even had Idris Elba!!!

So what really is there to say? It’s not like I can complain about them making the thing so cute I felt I could burst. I can’t complain about the feel good feeling,  can’t even complain about the cinematography.

This movie is a solid 10, and you know I’ve never ever given a ten before. So you know that’s a really huge thing.

I will say this though, to the kid who was seated behind me. Young son, you are gonna be a teenager one day, and you are gonna want to see a movie and actually watch it, or you are going to want to go to the movies with a girl. A girl whom you may very well like to steal a peck from in the darkness. And when you are, when you do, I’ll be there. I’ll do to you exactly what you did to me. Think about that. Mwahahahahahahaaaaa.

 

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Right in the childhood.

Is this movie even still in theaters, she wonders tapping her pen to her chin? Huh. OK in case it is, or you are waiting for the Pay-per-view or the DVD/Blu-ray, there may be spoilers ahead.

maxresdefault (1)

Alright, so…the guys are back to face a new villain and their own teenage angst. It’s basically the plot of every superhero story to date. It’s the story of every single episode of the series. The one from the 90’s. I have no idea what Nickelodeon is trying to do with this new age stuff, but I guess that’s just a sign I’m getting old. As such there’s stuff fans have come to expect from the Turtles. We expect the different personality traits, we expect Master Splinter to give us nuggets of morality and wisdom, we expect April to be scrappy, and we expect these turtles to be all kinds of awesome and witty, while getting their ninja on. Did this film deliver?

tmnt13

I think nostalgia must have rendered me blind and deaf through the first film. Because I do not remember Master Splinter be quite so pop culture, or so happy go lucky. I find he wasn’t the strong moral compass he used to be, for that matter, I kinda missed his strict parenting and staunch dedication to the Ninja arts. The Master Splinter I know would get his jollies but in a dignified and mysterious kind of way. Not so much here. He was more high fives and overblown enthusiasm. I guess that could explain the turtles lack of discipline and general Ninja-y-ness. Giving us not smooth and stealthy, but at times clumsy and just generally erroneous in the eyes of the long time fan.

Come to think of it, April, Shredder and Cassey were kinda washed out and dumbed down too. With little or none of the good old fashioned writing that drew me to this franchise. They were truly minor characters and as such were as easily dismiss-able as any of the extras featured.

30FC68E000000578-0-image-m-38_1454901418143

We got a new villain, care to guess who? I for one got all bouncy for this one, but I’m sad to report that they struck out here too. Making him more disgusting and highfaluting than actual bad-ass. To their defense I never found it easy to take him seriously as a villain, so maybe this strike out can be forgiven.

Now to the part of the movie that I loved…
1459241878318These guys were the best part. Their childishness, their dialogue, their retro (OMG the 90’s are considered retro, I am soo old) attitude made me laugh, the throw back to a better time broke up what can only be described as an, E for effort movie.

They were the kind of cartoonish this movie was trying to be. Did I mention that this thing was cartoonish? I could have sworn…OK…lemme explain.

You remember those movies where the heroes got beat up and looked beat up? Remember the original TNMT movies, where people got blows and were well licked? Well, not here. These folks were made of rubber, taking some serious hits and just walking away right as rain. I know Hollywood physics is a thing onto itself but come on. Like they hadn’t already twisted the knife into the chest of my childhood enough.

So what’s the verdict? Another Meh rating for another Meh movie. -1 for the sinking feeling of disappointment I got as I left the theater. -1 for Tyler Perry, what was that dude? -2 for being seen and all the filler that came with it. -2 for such a poor job on the non-turtle crew. Leaving it with a very not impressive at all 4/10.

They say you have to end these things on a good note. So I shall end by saying that the animation and special effects were on point. If it’s one point they got right it was that.

 

The Perfect Guy: A tainted review.

download

Now I will freely admit that this review is somewhat biased by my crush on the antagonist, upon whom I have had a fangirl crush since Barber Shop. So if my inner geek girl comes a squealing at you, do not be alarmed, just ignore her and she will grab a hold of herself.

I will also pause here to include the obligatory spoiler alert.

Now the first thing that struck me about this movie was it’s abruptness. The pace of the movie was such that, huge chunks of time went missing between scenes. From the initial break up with Morris’s character, to meeting Micheal’s character to the flip switch crazy of that self same character.

It left me a bit disoriented as I sat in the dark, trying to figure out how things escalated so quickly. How our heroine fell so hard so fast, and was so willing to reveal herself to this man. I eventually caught on, but it still felt a bit jerky to me. After that however my alter ego’s began to fight.

download (1)

The feminist in me…jumped and yelled, sometimes out loud at the screen. As we all know the successful desperate woman who had let “life” pass her by, in the form of a husband and babies, for her career is completely absurd to me. Why are women portrayed that way in this day and age? Why do we eat up that crap? There’s nothing wrong with building yourself a life before you give it. Furthermore ushering life into the world, isn’t just another time sensitive accomplishment, it’s a choice and one that comes with some heavy consequences that not everyone is ready for or built for, so can we please put that stereotype to bed?

All that being said I can see why this lady was so eager to let this man enter her life. Without so much as a home address coming with him. Why she was quick to salivate and plan the perfect future around those pretty blue eyes. I understand it, I just didn’t like it. Not to mention sticky ickly public bathroom sex, he’s hot, but not that hot. No matter how much reggae they play…ewwww.

She did come through in the end though, when she finally grew a pair, and took matters into her own hands. I’m all for a lady who knows how and is willing to protect herself. So kudos to the film for that.

download (2)

The fangirl in me…cooed and awed at the fascinatingly attractive Mr Ealy. To the point where, when the crazy was switched on the man sitting next to me, who happens to be my hubby, had to remind me that the man I was calling “Boo” and “Babe” was in fact a deranged psycho killer. I had to reign it in with the drooling over those eyes, that smile, those droplets falling from his body as he did those push ups. I mean my man didn’t kill the cat!!!!!! Who can hate a man who looks like that and loves cats?….Oh wait? You can? OK.

Again in my defense any one who has read my Gone Girl review, knows how I feel about Villain lovin’.

But again the pace hit me hard. I mean the development of the psychosis was lost on us. I mean you date a man or how many ever months, until you feel comfortable bringing him home for public holidays and at the first incident of somewhat shakily justifiable easily explained away violence you are read to bolt? Even worse you won’t even let him explain? I mean if communication is key in a relationship then at least he was owed that? Right?

Well he didn’t get it, so on comes the creepy. I won’t say in detail for fear of barfing, but let’s just say, I will always empty my wine glasses from now on, and invest in disposable toothbrushes…ewww. And to all the nosy neghbours out there, please watch these films, from Fatal Attraction to The Perfect guy. An anonymous call to the Po-Po is much appreciated and will keep you out of the psycho cross hairs.

All in all I loved this movie, the story was good though could have been better told from a cinematic perspective in my humble opinion. The abundance of eye candy was much appreciated. And for once the Black folk, were normal middle class folks. No Ebonics, no ghetto cousins or siblings, no crack head or pot heads, no Drug dealers, and no Koolaid and Fried chicken references. It’s set the image of the American Black community ahead a few decades, and I really appreciate that.

Now for the numbers: The obligatory +1 for not being Ronin gives this movie a well deserved 8.

Mr Ealy? If you would like to discuss the matter further my inbox is always open…Was that creepy?….No…Well…Maybe…but I’m harmless I promise.